Joined: 08 Jul 2019
|Will power alone will never work over the long term. It is the hardest way possible to get yourself to do anything.
The answer is to discover the secrets of self motivation.
Because it is like trying to open a tin can with your teeth when there is a can opener in your pocket.
Instead you need to tap into the limitless power of your mind. When you do you can break bad habits , create beneficial new ones and put yourself back on track easily, quickly and with very little effort.
Making changes to enhance the quality of your life does not need to be slow or difficult. Unfortunately most people are still struggling because they continue to rely on ineffective approaches like will power.
Forget about will power. Become a self motivation expert!
Instead write down one small action you have been putting off and answer the following questions and really put some thought into the answers:
1 What am I missing out on of importance by not doing this?
2 What will I gain most by doing this?
3 Why is it important to me to get this done?
4 How is not doing this inconsistent with who I really am?
Pretend You Have Already Completed the Task:
Get a pen and paper and take 5 minutes to describe how you feel now that you have already finished the task you have been postponing. i.e. as if you have already succeeded.
e.g. I have already cleaned the yard and I feel fantastic. My family and friends are really impressed and I feel so proud of myself and so delighted that it is finally done.
The yard looks immaculate, so tidy I have even impressed myself. I feel so powerful, energetic and motivated. I feel on top of the world. etc. etc.
Do this quickly and write with as much emotion as you can express. Spend at least 5 minutes on it.
You will be surprised at how well this simple process works.
You may find that you feel a boost in motivation that gets even better each time you use this process. Do it once a day for best results.
Become your own self motivation expert.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report, the 5 Step Motivation Report. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: Many of you already know that I've been divorced for 5 years now (Martinis for Everyone!), but I learned more than a few valuable lessons in those 5 years that I'm going to share with you.
When my ex-husband first left, I was almost literally drowning in thoughts of "What's wrong with me?" I lay awake nights thinking of how I could have been different, and what I could have changed about myself to make the outcome different.
Until one day, a bolt of lightning struck me. I was at home, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, caring for 3 children while my husband was at work socializing with other adults, male and female. Treating himself to dinner out with "clients" after work, most often to meals of sushi and dishes like teriyaki chicken, while the children and I feasted on Kraft Dinner. I thought at that time, that being completely wrapped up in who I was as a mother, probably made me a little neglectful of who I was as a woman. I mean, who has time for make-up when you're running to and from ballet classes and piano lessons, along with being literally showered with whatever the baby decided that he didn't want to eat for dinner? Make up? What the hell's that?
My bolt of lightning was this; I was (and am) the mother of 3 children. I did my job with regard to caring for those children, making sure that they had food on the table, and clean clothes to wear. If that job required that I look like a dish-rag part of the time, he would just have to deal with it. His way of "dealing with it" included 'play time' with people outside of the relationship that he had with myself and our children, and that was his decision. There's nothing that I could do about his decision. I could though, start making some decisions of my own.
I first decided that divorce was mandatory here. I went through the various stages. After which time, I realized that this divorce thing could be whatever I chose to make it. It could be my chance to grovel endlessly in self-pity, and beg him to come back. But I didn't want him back. Once he left, it felt as though a huge brick had been lifted from my chest. I could breathe again. My household was much more relaxed. Why on earth would I want him back?
I realized then, that this was actually my chance to make my life what I wanted it to be. I accepted that I couldn't control his actions. I could though, control exactly how I reacted to what he did. I realized that what he did wasn't about me. Yes, it very definitely affected me, and our children, but I had to learn how not to take it personally. What he did, he did for his own selfish reasons, and there's nothing that I could have done to change the outcome. There was absolutely nothing wrong with me.
And that's the lesson for today. Learn not to take the behavior of others, personally. You cannot control the actions of others. You can control how you react to the actions of others.
Martinis for Everyone!
Debbie Burgin is a divorced mother of 3, and owner of two businesses, , and , who believes that life actually gets better after divorce. "You have to make the decision that a better life is what you want. This is your chance to start over." Read more about getting through the divorce process at Like fashion, mobile phones and ideologies, web design evolves, too. You can update your website anytime you feel like it and fill it with all the rich media you can think of, like animation, Java applets and Flash movies. After all.